Monday, September 7, 2009

Bulletproof Corset

Ever since my back operation i've had to use this brace around my lower back that's uncomfortable to the highest degree, and feels like a bulletproof corset.  I've hated it since I woke up, drug induced, with it on after my operation, and I hate it now.  It's hot, lik I'm wearing twelve extra layers of clothing around my stomach, it gets sweaty, and it always feels tight no matter what.  It has the opposite affect of a corset; it just makes me look fat in the front; pot bellied.  I can no longer wear T shirts.  I'm basically wearing a fat suit, either that or it looks like I'm pregnant. Like I made a poor decision, got caught up and the moment and didn't have use a condom.  Now I'm stuck with this demonic, velcro squid that wraps itself around my torso. 

Tomorrow I find out how long I have to wear it for.  I hope I don't have to wear it at all anymore.  It would be really terrible to have to wear it at my new school.  I want a fresh start, and I feel like this can hold me back. I don't want my first impression on people to be "the cripple." I'm not myself when it's on me either.  I feel self conscious.  Like some kind of evil symbiot turning me into a shy, boring, defenseless monster.  

That was my rant.  I'll try not to post more.  

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